The Dangers of Indulging Our Alien Research Fantasies: A Report From the Executive Branch of the European Union

As a representative for the European Union, I can say with unfortunate certainty that the economy of the EU is in peril. It seems that the global economic state mimics this sad truth. It is easy to become distracted by other “issues” when we feel as though those actually worth attempting to solve are too great and will consume us. We need not look further than the impending election in the United States as an example of our tendencies, as humans, to focus on and even rehash issues of little significance. While the US faces a national debt, a healthcare crisis and an addiction to oil, politicians and citizens alike choose to focus on women’s rights and religion, deeply personal issues which do not concern politics. 

I make this digression only so that we can compare it to the recent news of the signal from 55 Cancri and the proposed construction of a machine based off the number sequence. The fact of the matter is that we, as a planet, do not have enough money to indulge our Martian fantasies. Look no further than the reports that were recently issued on “The Global Signal” from all arenas (executive, military, populace and science) as evidence that we cannot afford this endeavor. Many reports centered on a concern about the budget for various projects. I would like to point out that there is also an existing budget for military endeavors, science research and public services however; the project that we are contemplating engendering does not even have an established budget. We need to come up with the money for it out of thin air. I would, as much as anyone else, would like to know what exactly these beings are trying to communicate but building this machine is not responsible. Curiosity killed the cat. I ask the citizens of the Earth; do we want to be that proverbial cat, not exactly dead, but poor, disillusioned and facing inevitable economic decay?  

I understand, however, that this signal is a breakthrough, something that we have never seen before and thus, warrants a response we have never generated before. I would like to suggest that we use a fifth of the money that we might spend on this deciphering machine to strengthen our military. Furthermore, it is imperative that the European Union specifically begin to consider the national unification that situations like this one necessitates as, we will likely find out that the future holds conflicts that require us, as a people, to reach unified decisions. Perhaps we need a governmental overhaul. Thats an issue for another day however, its becoming clear that when the European Union needs to make swift decisions with large impacts, we are unprepared to do so. For now, I ask that citizens take on a unbiased mindset and start viewing themselves as citizens of the European Union, not necessarily under the confines of their home-nation. 

If extraterrestrial beings intend on attacking Earth then they will do so, regardless of whether or not we decipher their messages. Strengthening our global military is the precautionary action we need to avoid destruction. I ask the citizens of the earth to consider this scenario: We spend 5 trillion dollars on building this machine. We discover through decoding the signal that we are going to be under extraterrestrial attack. We now have no money to defend ourselves. Clearly this hypothetical situation is far too black and white but I am confident you all get the idea. My final decision on this matter is to devote some of the budget towards strengthening our global military and stop this expensive nonsense.